Hi, I'm Stanly. I actually hold the world record of "Whiniest kid in America. It's just my natural voice, but everyone thinks I do it on purpose. I hate my voice. I'd do anything just to have a new one. One that wasn't so off-turning. They also say that if your name just happens to be Stanly, you're naturally whiny. If you're a stanly, you'll turn out to be a nobody. You'll end up in a one-room house. You'll have lame toys. In fact, you'll only have one, that's right, one, toy that actually works; the rest'll be statues. They'll look like the real things, and they'll have power buttons, but when you push "POWER", the statues' inner voices will explode, but the so-called "toys" will still be there. I am one of those losers. I'm not even the one who is running this website. In truth, I give my rich, snotty enemy, Freddie Allen Benson, ideas on script pages that I hand write, and he programs them in for me. He's the star of one of the world's most heard audio shows, iFreddie. He hates me, being on his computer... and just me! I do hate him, but I guess I should be thankful for that; I mean, I'm a horrible speller, but he's never spelled a word wrong in his life, unless it was a typo, as you probably can tell. I may be poor, but I'm sure as honest as Abe Lincoln!!!!!
They call me Stanly Steamer. I hate being called that! I think that whoever invented that company shouldn't have. I like to imagine that I'm a judge and the members of the company are guilty. I then imagine myself going to their jailcell and laughing at them!
I'm so poor, I don't even have a high-tech computer. I've got one of those, Microsoft Windows 95's. It freezes everytime I try to go online. Yes, I know; how do I have a website if I have no access to a good computer? Well, there's this rich, snotty guy named Freddie Allen Benson, and he does this show called iFreddie. I asked him if I could join his show, but he said, politely, that I couldn't be on it. He said that I'm the only Stanly he knows, and that's a bad omen to him. So I asked him if he could help me start my own show, and I asked him if I could borrow his equipment. And he said, "Sure... Actually, that'd be a great idea!" So that's what he and I did, and I'm so happy, because I'm famous now! Yay me! THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING HERE, GUYS! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! HAVING PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME ... OH, YOU FANS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!